Unibroue Ephemere

Wherein Bob tries something completely different.

Now having a template to go by in reviews is a good thing, but this time around it needs to be broken. I'm going to get straight to the point: this is the first beer that I completely hated in a long time. A side effect of starting the blog is the increased drive to try new and interesting brews when I found them. So after picking up a sixer of Dead Guy I spotted this neat little bottle in the cooler and figured I'd give it a try. The label looks interesting, for 7$ for a two pint bottle it's in a accessible price range, and heck the idea of a Green Apple mixed ale doesn't seem bad by itself either. Who can blame me for being suckered in?

Seriously folks, this is the image
 Unbroue's "Brewmaster" chose to
represent himself

Unibroue is a French Canadian brewing company that's been around since 1990. If you visit their website you'll spot a lot of self indulgent horn tooting in their history, story, lexicon, and "Medals won". To be completely honest the whole thing looks flat billed frat boy douchey. This kind of alleged brewing superiority is the stuff that makes me want to drop craft beer for life and stick with predictable old Bud Light. Being proud of your beer is one thing, but having a circlejerk about how great you are on your own website is something entirely different.

So back to the beer at hand:
I got Ephemere home and chilled it out in the fridge for a day or so. After popping open the brown bag I was just a little disappointed to find that the alcohol content of this concoction is at a very modest 5.5%. I know I can't get drunk with EVERY new beer I try out, but at least a buzz would help. Anyway I poured up a glass in my slightly-classier-than-average german beer mug, took my token "IKnowHowToTryBeer" smell and got introduced to a pretty strong citrusy-tart fruit smell. Being unafraid of outlandish flavors I took a taste.

Token Beer Picture

So what does it taste like?

Just imagine for a minute that cheap white wine took beer out for a drink or two. Now beer wouldn't normally hang out with white wine, seeing as how they're from different crowds, but white wine was being awfully persistent over the last couple days and beer eventually caved. After the 2nd drink beer got up to take a piss and white wine dropped some roofies into beer's drink. White wine promptly took advantage of beer's out of mind state and date raped beer back in his apartment, letting his buddy Green Apple join in from time to time. That's pretty much what Ephemere tastes like to me. Date rape and sadness.



Enough hyperbole Bob, just review the Beer.
Anyway when you try a sip it whacks you with a light bodied, but very wheaty and green appley taste. None of this is subtle, each flavor pretty much beats it's predecessor down to assault your tongue. At the end of this overly sharp roller-coaster of flavors you'll pick up a slight spice note at the end, followed by a lingering aftertaste characteristic of old cheap beer. To top it off this stuff is carbonated heavier than Diet Coke, so after a half-pint you'll either be burping constantly or uncomfortably stuffed with the gas. If you couldn't tell by now - I don't like Ephemere.

This is an obvious niche beer maker though, so in all fairness I might not be the intended audience for this one. Maybe there's someone out there that can enjoy the overly sharp and ununified flavor of this beer, but that person is definitely not me. All in all if you spot this interesting looking bottle on the shelf somewhere, I'd say save your money. I would rather drink Keystone Light than this blasphemy.